teaching, learning and living around the world
I have a very distinct memory of sitting in a cheap college swivel chair, proclaiming to my best friend, “I want to be great.” I aim to play big for an entire lifetime, knowing that there is an ebb and flow to the things I focus on each day, year, decade. On the scale of work and life, I imagine I will rarely live smack dab in balance. Always a little to the left, or a little to the right.
Writer and family friend, Brigid Schulte posted on Facebook a while back,
I say all of this, and yet I am so inconsistent in playing big! Sometimes I ooze with confidence and poise while other times I shrink. I recently realized, after a great 360 review with my boss (who is an awesome woman!) that I no longer need to seek out answers for why I do this undercutting thing. I simply need to stop.
I need to stop shrugging my shoulders and claiming “I don’t know,” when in fact I have a very good idea. I need to speak up, knowing that my personal judgement is valuable regardless of whether it’s new or not, insightful or not.
Whenever Anga catches me shrinking, he reminds me to “be sharky!”
I love this great teaching moment from an article I recently read.
“Are you just going to keep yourself to yourself for the rest of your life? In case you fall? In case you fail? In case you make a fool of yourself? In case we see how imperfect you are? OR: are you going to choose to just be generous anyway? To just take up as much space as you actually take up? To be as big, as graceful, as long, as gorgeous, as enormous as you actually are?”
The teacher stopped, out of breath from her spontaneous explosion, and stood there, staring up at me, tears of wisdom’s fierce love glistening in her eyes.
What’s playing big for you?
Who or what reminds you to be as enormous as you actually are?